Two Sides of A Coin
by MayoParfait
Summary: Gintoki's point of view in the movie,Gintama Movie 2 : The Last Chapter : Be Forever Yorozuya. Warning! Plot twist.
Devouring the nights and spitting out the days..is this really me? I don't even know anymore. My true nature is doubtful. These feelings that boils inside me...Is it black or white? Someone,please tell me.

The future that I aim for...and the past that I left behind.. Twisting round and round,they're connected aren't they? Just why can't I choose to live in the present? It hurts.. Why can't everything just end? It'll be better for me to disappear,and never come back.

Squinting my eyes at the lights passing by. And all of a sudden,everything became dark. I leaned forward from my strange dream. Or more precisely,a nightmare. "Please...someone help me..".

The coin that I flipped,that two sides of the same coin so familiar yet so different. Just which ending would I choose? Or chosen for me? The brighter the light,the darker the shadow. If that's so,then where would I go? I don't know what I should do. I'm confused,alone and _scared_. But I know. No matter how hard I cry,no matter how hard I scream,nobody will save me. "Hehe.. I'm truly all alone..".

The divergent paths that came together. The shadow that follows me,everywhere. Will I take it in? Or will I illuminate it? Resist it or accept it all? One thing's for sure,no matter what I choose,the current me will cease to exist. Was it to much to ask,for a simple end?

Light and darkness..Love and hate..Both of them are all powerful emotions with the same roots. Someone..Anyone., "Reach out a hand to me,to the ends of my memory,and invite me to go where you are". But no one did.

I knew that everything is fated to eventually disappear someday. But I was stubborn. I ignored it,and made things worse. The only way to fix everything right,is to stop whatever started it. Sakata Gintoki must be wiped off the face of the earth. Nobody'll will remember me,and that's good enough for me. "What a befitting end for a demon".

Going through the valleys of time,I searched for myself. The me who thought he could save everyone. How foolish was that. I charged into the battlefields,with only one intention in my head. A white figure appeared in my vision,and I sped up. My wooden sword entered his flesh and blood splattered everywhere. The Shiroyasha turned around to face me,with a knowing smile on his face. He then fell to the ground,his eyes slowly closing. I took ahold of his hand,and gripped it.

 _The past is just a ghost of the present._

I don't think I even have the right to say that. Even though we're the same guy,he's from the past. We're from different timelines. It was as if I killed another guy. That's why,I am ready to bear any consequences. That is why,I'll never let go of this hand. 'Even the prosperous must decay'. Breaking out of these restricting chains and awakening now,will I see a definite world?

Caught between yin and yang,I'm just lying in wait. Listening to the steady heartbeats,hoping the dots and lines may connect with each other as they play a requiem for the lost days. 'Steady heartbeats?'. Why were there heartbeats here? There shouldn't be any. Unless...

"I'm still alive...". How is this possible? I killed my past self! Just why does fate loves messing around with me? Why make me suffer so much? To repent for all the sins I've done? That doesn't make any sense! I looked around,and saw them. All of the people I've met. Why were they here? They shouldn't be here. I got on my feet and searched around. 'My past self disappeared..'. Putting that aside,I have more pressing things to do.

 **I must end this,once and for all.**

As long as the vessel for the White Plague was still alive,they have zero chance in beating him. So I will put a stop to this never ending cycle.

Fighting my way through,memories came back to me like a flood. The Yagyuu,Yoshiwara,Oniwaban and the Shinsengumi. All of my dearest comrades. Last but not least,the ones who had my backs all this time. The Yorozuya. This may be the last time we'll be seeing each other. Truth to be told,I'll miss them. And that is exactly why I will protect them. Even if it cost me my life.

I was right. The vessel had multiple cores. It spread out but before it could reach far enough,I absorbed it all. I don't even know how I did it. Now...is to get rid of me.

"Gin-chan/Gin-san!",two voices called out for me in the distance. I look at them,and smile.

"Goodbye".

I then stabbed myself before I lose control of myself again. I can feel the cores trying to escape,but I held them back. "Kagura,Shinpachi,please...A final request from me..Kill me". They tried to protest,until the others caught up. The female gorilla comforted them and they cried. They looked at me,and charged. I can feel my blood pouring out again. I looked at them and couldn't help but chuckle.

"Oi,oi..You two look ugly like that. Gin-san wouldn't want your crying faces as my last memory. So...Smile". I wiped off their tears while they held my hand. A smile appeared on their faces while trying to hold back their tears. "What the hell is that?". Great,now I'm smiling. As they say,smiling sure is contagious. Sadaharu then joined in. I petted him as soon as he got here. How soft his fur is...It'll probably my last time feeling this.

"Kagura..Shinpachi..Sadaharu..I just want to say..",I dragged a bit longer. I know I'm about to die soon. That's why,I need to congratulate them for all of their hardwork. Come to think of it,I never even gave them their salary..Hehe.. Hope this will cover it up.

"Thank you...".

With that,I felt my breath slowing and tears dripping on my face. _It's warm..._ Finally..I'm free.

 _The light and shadow intersected in a moment's flicker._

 _Binding the time._

 _And just like this,_

 _The two futures came together._


End file.
